Demotivation

The other day I wrote an email to this woman who has her own business knitting custom sweaters and dying yarn and fiber to sell. I asked her a question about her business and hoped she would not think it an imposition. She sent me an answer which was kind of her. However, part of her email was a bit disturbing. I had written that I had started my own online shop and had aspirations to dying my own yarn and fiber. She wrote back, "Good luck with your business. You have jumped into a pond that is getting more crowded all of the time." Now, why would you say something like that to someone? As if I wasn't worried enough that I'd missed the boat and was at least a year too late? Am I crazy? Have I taken a well meaning comment and turned it into something nasty without cause? Perhaps. Anyway, I had a nasty feeling for a while after that. It's gone now but I always have to be careful to tune out that rotten radio station that plays in my head, what Annie Lamott calls KFKD. I wish I could unplug it forever.

Sarah's Gift

My friend Lisa had a baby this year. So naturally I knitted a gift for her. I made a nice package, printed up some postage and sent it off Priority Mail. On my end everything went well. The package was sent and arrived in Atlanta 3 days later. That's when the trouble began. No one was home when the postman came so he left a slip. A few days later Lisa's husband signed the slip and put it back in their box so that the package would be redelivered. Nothing. No package. And when you have two children you do not have time to keep checking on the package. Finally, they called the post office. The post office couldn't find the package. And I'll tell you why. Because they had sent it back to me since it was unclaimed. What became of the signed slip? Who knows. So I sent the package again. This time I used Fed Ex and sent it to Lisa's husband's office. Success! To see the gift go and see my other blog here.

I have always had good experiences with the postal service though my own post office can be very slow if you have to wait on line. But as far as I know they have never lost anything or failed to deliver all my mail. I have never asked for re-delivery as it is easier to just go get it but I think it would be fine though it might take 3 days. I have been sending my store packages Priority Mail and they have arrived but the tracking is a little sketchy. I'd like to use FEd Ex but they are more expensive. We'll have to see what happens. It's hard when it all depends on the destination postal workers and how good they are at their jobs. There is no way to control that and as we know I don't like not having control over things. It's probably some kind of life lesson.

Full Belly

My family chose to celebrate Thanksgiving on Saturday this year. My cousin Beth is a nurse and my cousin Wendy's husband is a fire fighter. They both had to work on Thursday and Friday so we got together on Saturday. It was our biggest party ever, I think. 19 people, 5 of them children. The dining room was certainly too small and a buffet didn't seem feasible either. So we set up in the garage. It worked out really well. We had two tables set perpendicular to each other and used every chair in the house including the plastic patio chairs. The kids ate in the kitchen, away from the crazy adults.

As for the food, it was pretty good. The turkey was especially tasty. And the desserts came out very well, even if I do say so myself (maple walnut pound cake & pumpkin chocolate tart). The kids partook of a 10 pound Toblerone bar that Uncle Mark brought. I have no idea where he found it. It was kind of scary actually.

We also had two non-family members with us. Our good friends Barb and her partner Robin. They're fabulous. They live out on the North Fork of Long Island. I may have to go for a visit next summer. I haven't been swimming in ages and Claudio's Restaurant has some of the best clam chowder and crab cakes I've ever had. Besides, I think they'd be a blast to hang out with for a couple of days. And the way time is flying by it will be summer in just a moment.

We adults spent much of the evening talking politics. We are cautiously optimistic and are really hoping that this is the turning of the tide. I think we're due for a change. I like to believe that there is new wind blowing, that this country's rampant consumption and total disregard for the rest of the world are diminishing. I have to think positive. It's either that or make plans to move to Iceland.

Positive Method

I don't know if any of you ever peruse the self-help aisle of the bookstore. One of the categories involves visualization and manifestation. The idea is, if you visualize a thing - really see it, every day- you will manifest that thing, attract it to you. It can be a relationship or a job or a house. Similarly, if you see only trouble that is what you will attract. What I found surprising is that this idea isn't really that new. It began with Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich (1937) and Norman Vincent Peale's The Power of Positive Thinking (1952). Both of these books advocate action and faith but the core idea is that your thoughts are the starting point, if you think a thing with conviction and faith and persistence it will come to be. Now, my genetic background is one of skepticism. I find it hard to let go of ruthless logic (a former co-worker used to call me Scully). However, in the face of the business I haveThe Power of Positive Thought decided to give it all a try. I will proceed as I would have, looking for opportunities and ways to get the word out but I will also do the visualizing and positive thinking. While it may not live up to the hype it can't possibly hurt. Besides, thinking that all is well and wonderful is much better than sitting about brooding about how things are not going as planned.

Here is someone who never troubles about the future. She is enjoying a toy I made for her.

Drilled

I had thought that the people working on the facade of my building were done with my side. Alas, I was in error. Today the drilling almost sent me over the edge. They were right under my window for about 2 hours. I was praying to anyone who might be listening to make them stop. I had a brief respite when I went to the store but when I returned they were still at it. It's like being trapped next to an enormous dental drill. Finally, after 4pm they stopped. I am fervently hoping that when they come back tomorrow there is no drilling.

But there is a bright spot in the day. A very fragrant bright spot. I made beef stew. It's in the oven right now. The whole house is redolent with it. Yum.

Problems

So, just two orders in I had a customer problem and it was my fault. (Sigh) It seems that in the checkout area of the cart it listed the shipping as USPS Priority 1 day. Now I would swear, on anything you'd care to name that it did say 2-3 days which is Priority Mail average time. I have no idea when or how it changed. The upshot was that my customer thought she was paying for overnight shipping and was miffed when she didn't get it overnight. I explained that it was a mistake and I refunded her shipping. Fortunately she didn't actually need it overnight and understood about computer glitches. So all's well that ends well and it was a relatively painless way to find the problem but still... What started out as a good day is now all icky. I certainly know that in retail you have customer problems but I really didn't want one quite so early on. But perhaps it's better this way. In any case, I can see that I will have to run through the process frequently to make sure there aren't any weirdnesses. (Sigh)

Frustration

I have been very fortunate in the apartments in which I've lived. Only in the first one did I have a roach problem. Since that place in back of Fenway Park I've lived pretty much bug free. Occasionally one might show up but that was it. This has held true in my current apartment. However, they've been doing work on the facade of the building for the past 5 months. The work involves drilling out worn bricks and installing new ones. This has resulted in more bugs. I can't really blame them. They sense the world through vibration and the drilling must be like the neighbors having the stereo on 10. They have been appearing sporadically, maybe once or twice a week. But in this apartment a bug has an incredibly short life expectancy. As soon as it comes out into the open the cats are on it. It's got no chance at all. Occasionally I will catch a cat with a bug in his/her mouth. Now, I know that these bugs don't carry disease but there is something just icky about the idea of the cat eating it. I suspect it's the stigma the roach carries. I wouldn't feel the same about a beetle or a moth. At any rate, I usually try to get the cat to drop the bug then I kill it quickly with one swift clog and toss it in the garbage. The poor cats then hunt around for the bug. They can smell it but it isn't where they left it. It must be very frustrating.

Park

After yesterday's deluge the sun came out in a brilliant blue sky. I went to the park and everything had that after the rain smell. I just stood there and inhaled deeply. The park was beautiful. The golden autumn light was made even more golden as it passed through the leaves. A gust of wind would come up and leaves would flutter to the ground like butterflies. Perfect.
Or almost. There's a problem I have that I've been trying to get rid of but I can't quite manage it. Two years or so ago a young Julliard student named Sarah was murdered in the park. Her family organized search parties and they found her about a week after she went missing. The worst thing about it was her death. She must have been terrified in those last moments. But the second worst thing is that her murderer became part of the park. He made himself a part of it. Now, the park wasn't perfectly safe before this. There are countless spots for people to lurk. In one spot there is a circle where fires have been lit and a lot of beer drunk. But it felt fine. After Sarah was found my behavior in the park changed. For a while I didn't venture further in. Then when I did I would keep looking behind me, listening to every little sound, hyper alert. And that is still true. I can't help thinking of what might be hiding in the forest and wondering what became of Sarah's killer. They haven't found him. Is he still here somewhere? Did he get arrested for something else or leave town? Did he die? And how does he feel? Powerful or horrible? I suppose this is the price for living among people. We do awful things to each other, often for no reason at all. I hope that one day I can walk under the trees and think only of the beauty and not of evil.

Victory-I Hope

I'm trying not to get my hopes up. We've taken back the House. Now we have to do something with it. I suppose we will still meet with a lot of opposition from the White House but we should be able to turn the tide a bit, don't you think? Please say yes. We've strayed so far from reason that it will be a long road back to some semblance of sanity. History teaches that things tend to swing back and forth. We are long overdue for the swing back to sense.

So, repeat after me: We will make a difference.

Say it every morning at it may turn out to be true.

Confession

Ok, the NaNoWriMo is not going so well. I've gotten stuck and I don't quite know where to go. I know the end, it's the middle that's the difficulty. And then there's the fact that my wrist still hurts when I type. After 1700 words it can really ache. It really seems like a bad idea to stress it out. We'll see if I can find my way through. Even if I do I may not make the 50,000 words by the end of the month but I'll have a start on the book. That's the important thing really. I have decided that I will not beat myself up over it. So there.

Colors

You remember the Purple Soup from the previous post? Of course you do. Well, I didn't eat all of it that same day so I refrigerated what remained. Last night, when I took it out to reheat, I discovered that it was a different color when cold.
This is the soup right out of the refrigerator.


And this is the soup after heating. Weird.


I needed some new jeans so I took myself to the Housing Works Thrift Shop. And in a miracle of biblical proportion found two pairs that fit pretty well. One is slightly gapey in the waist and if I were buying them new at full price I probably would have rejected them. But I paid only $12 a pair so I took 'em and counted myself blessed. You can't beat that price with a stick. I also found a pair of boots. I know, I have lots of shoes and boots. But these were only $15 and they're BLUE!
Here they are in all their glory.


And here is Nora with the boots. She loves shoes almost as much as I do.



NaNoWriMo begins today. I will try to keep you posted.

Soup

One of my favorite things about the colder weather is that it is perfect for soup. You could have a different soup every day and never repeat. Anyway, there was some beautiful purple cauliflower at the farmers' market this past weekend so I bought it and turned it into Purple Cauliflower Soup. As you can see, it came out a lovely lavender color.


I would have liked it to be darker, like the original cauliflower but I made it with milk and potatoes. Maybe I'll try it just with broth and potatoes next time and see how that comes out.

Not 300 But Rearranged

My friend Lady Epiphany has put up her 300th post. I am humbled. That's ok. By the end of November I will have a novel written. May not be very good, but it will be a novel.

I spent yesterday rearranging my home. I live in a studio so the choices are limited but every now and then I like to change things around. It's a lot of work since I do it alone. I have to take all the books out of the bookshelf, all the drawers out of the dresser, all the files out of the filing cabinets, and so on. At the end of it all I am happy with one change and unsure about another. I will just have to live with it for a while and see if it works. I did attempt a bit of Feng Shui but it is difficult in a studio. For example, my success direction is south and my desk should face that way. But it just didn't work. But it does face in one of 4 auspicious directions. One can see that if one were serious about Feng Shui it would be very difficult to make it all work unless you could build from scratch. Especially because your home has its own auspicious directions which, ideally, should match yours. Sadly I am at odds with my home- I am east and it is west- but one advisor feels confident that that is okay as long as the main entrance to the room matches the house, with in fact it does. So it's okay. I don't have to move. I know, you were worried for a moment there.

Back to It

I got back to the spinning wheel today. It's been months, possibly a year since I last used it. And man it shows. I have decided to start from scratch, relearning it. Fortunately I have the Alden Amos book on spinning. If you have any notions of going out and buying a wheel I recommend this book. It's serious. Everything from preparing raw fiber to a discussion of wheels to finishing. And written with humor. I know that you Muggles think it's a bit nuts spinning in this day and age when you can get almost any yarn for yourself but there is something very special about spinning your own. You feel pretty darn good. Like the first time you bake a whole cake from scratch. It's a very real, tangible thing that you accomplished. When I was at the fair this past weekend I saw some expert spinners from a guild. Amazing what they can do.
And it doesn't escape me that it is just a touch ironic, like spending tons of money on candles. A hundred years ago they welcomed electricity and women everywhere were more than happy to buy store bought clothes. Hand made items became the province of the poor and now they are a luxury. No one who works two jobs to put food on the table is going to take the time to knit a sweater by hand, unless she really loves the labor. And that is partly what makes these things so precious, the time that is put into them along with the sweat and occasional tear. They are a labor of love, even if it is only our love for the craft. Most crafters do like to give though. We even give when we know the gift will not be properly appreciated. Because that doesn't matter, or it shouldn't. We give because we want to, because we can't help ourselves.

Crazy Idea

I have returned from the Sheep and Wool Festival with my bank account in tact. For those of you interested in what went on, proceed to The Skein Blog tomorrow. I will include one picture here.

How's that for a fab do?

I know, you want to know what the crazy idea is. It all started with Lady Epiphany. If you've read her most recent post you know she has joined NaBloPoMo. National Blog Posting Month. The upshot is that you post every day in November and you can win a customized blog banner as well as some hosting. But if you follow the link and go to the NaBloPoMo site they tell you that they are based on NaNoWriMo. National Novel Writing Month. That particular insanity is a group of people who write a novel in 30 days. 50,ooo words in 30 days. Don't worry, it doesn't have to be Pulitzer material. Quantity is more important than quality. Those of you who have been with me from my first post know that I had intentions of writing some fiction here. This has not been the case. As any writer knows, writing is work. And I have been a lazy butt and not done any work. So in order to kick start myself I have joined NaNoWriMo. We'll see how it works out. The business is likely to be a bit slow now in the beginning so hopefully there will be time. And maybe I can get out to some writer events so I don't go stir crazy and start writing "All work and no play makes Plaid Sheep a dull girl" over and over. This may mean that this blog suffers from neglect but I will try to keep you up to date on the insanity. Wish me luck, I think I may need it.

Day One

Here we are at the end of day one of the business. I feel a bit odd, sort of hyped up. I think it's the anti-climax. Now, understand, I didn't expect an order on the first day. But somehow I don't quite know what to do with myself. For the last several weeks I have been focused on the day I was going to go live. And now it's here and I feel as if the ride has stopped suddenly and I've been slammed back by the seat belt. It's a whole new life, one I've never lived before. I have to find my way and it is daunting. I also know I need to have positive thoughts. I can't think: "What will I do if it tanks? Or is slow? I could get a part time job to fill in the holes." No. I must proceed as if it will all work out or else it won't. I have to be all there. And really, I'm not in extreme financial danger. I have resources that will help me if I am in need. I won't lose the apartment. And yet.... I suspect that I doubt myself, doubt that I have the creativity and the drive to make it work the way I want it to work. And although I have had help and a lot of support (thank you all) still I feel very alone. More alone than I think I have ever felt. This is the real challenge. Not the details of the business, but the labor of getting past my own insecurities and self-limitations. My magnum opus. Now on day one.

Almost There

I know, it's been some time since I posted. It's been a busy time, dealing with all the last minute details before the business goes live. I've taken a ton of pictures then cropped and sized them and uploaded them. Tedious but educational. I've been discovering the bugs in my shopping cart software. Well, not bugs exactly, but things that don't make sense. More education. I am very grateful that my personality tends to optimism and cheer. I'm told that I was a cheerful child and I think I've managed to hang on to my even temper. This has been invaluable during this business start up. I am a perfectionist but a cheerful one. And I am learning to let things go. They are not as important as they once were.

I read Robert Brezny's horoscope each week. It's always amusing and frequently apt. This week he says:
"According to the Midwest Book Review, David Foster Wallace's 1,088-page book Infinite Jest is "perhaps the most innovative novel in the English language since James Joyce's Ulysses." The Review of Contemporary Fiction calls Infinite Jest a vast comic epic, adding that it's "so brilliant you need sunglasses to read it." On the other hand, critic Dan Schneider (Cosmoetica.com) believes *Infinite Jest* "might be the worst novel ever written." I expect that there will be a similar diversity of opinion about you and your efforts in the coming week, Aries. My advice? Ignore everyone's assessment but your own and that of the person who knows you best."

Sound advice.

Outing

Yesterday I met two friends at the New York Botanic Garden. We had tickets for the Chihuly exhibit that is there at the moment. If you don't know who Chihuly is go here. He's a glass artist whose work is very organic. It often resembles plants or sea creatures. In this case they placed a bunch of his pieces in and around the garden. The ones in the Haupt Conservatory were lit up after dark. It was beautiful. If you live in the NYC area and can get there, go, before October 29th when the exhibit ends.
This piece is called The Sun. It weighs 4600 lbs and is made up of about 1000 pieces. It took 6 people 4 days to assemble it.


After wandering open-mouthed through the exhibit and deciding that we must take glass blowing lessons, we adjourned to Arthur Avenue.

Arthur Avenue is the Little Italy of the Bronx. It still has some of that old neighborhood feel that the Manhattan Little Italy has lost; it was buried in tourist traps and an ever expanding Chinatown. We went to a place called Mario's. It was perfect. I fully expected Nicky the Nose and Charlie Stubs to show up to meet the Don. The place was filled with neighborhood families, the air redolent of garlic and olive oil. Our waiter too was perfect, just the right New York accent and ready with a smile. We ate too much and laughed a lot. The perfect end to a beautiful day.

So, if you should find yourself on Arthur Avenue, go to Mario's and have the Spaghetti with White Clam Sauce (or the Fettuccine Alfredo-it's a tough call), the Tiramisu and a cappuccino. And say hello to Nicky the Nose for me.

So close...

It's done. Well, almost. One last short training session and I will be done with the Pit of Despair. The move was a horror. An absolute and complete balls up. Everything that could go wrong did. The store still doesn't have its real lighting and is lit mostly by construction lights-you know, bulbs in yellow plastic cages. Classy. The computers still aren't all over there although they should be by the end of the week. No inventory has been done so who knows what the store really has. The newest emergency is that they (that's right, they, not we) have to be out of the old store by the end of the month. The new tenants want in. Amazingly the place has already been taken. By Nike. I have high hopes they will do a good job renovating. The place could be gorgeous with some care and attention. At the very least they need to gut the rear end and replace the bathrooms.

On the business front we are approaching Zero Hour. The site is almost done. Now comes the entering of the data and the images. I have to take a bunch of pictures. Think good thoughts for me that they come out well. Then it will be time to crack a bottle of champagne across the bow and let her go out into the wide world. My heart's all a-flutter. Or maybe that's the butterflies in my stomach. Don't worry. I'll let everyone know when happens.

Today's Items

The evil day has come. The cats have discovered the toilet paper. I knew it was coming when I found the roll edge hanging down to the floor with claw holes in it. I came home this evening to find the whole thing unrolled and lying in a pile on the floor. I sat down on the edge of the tub and laughed and laughed. I suppose if it keeps happening it won't be so funny. I'll have to try hiding it behind a towel (the towel bar is right above).

The Pit of Despair continues its move. A mess. A total and complete mess. How we are going to open on Thursday is beyond me. The cash register area still doesn't have power or data ports. And there is dust covering everything. If we turn the computers on in the dust bowl all the hard drives will be clogged in an hour. But there is no reasoning with the big cheese. To give you a clear example of what we are dealing with: the owner asked that we flatten the paper stuff had been wrapped in so it would take up less space in the garbage. Three days to opening, stuff is still not all out, computers not installed, and he is concerned about paying a bit extra to the garbage company. I am not making this up.

But there was a very bright spot in an otherwise annoying day at The Pit. Today a former co-worker of ours came in to work for the day. He is very kind and always brings candy when he comes. Yesterday he went to the ComicCon. While there, far away from the Pit, he bought a calender featuring a Star Trek character and had her sign it for me. (He knows I am a Trek fan). How incredibly sweet and thoughtful is that? I can hardly stand it. I think it's his mother's influence. She is an impossibly elegant and charming woman. The kind who can walk into a 5 star hotel that she's never been to before and have the entire staff at her beck and call as soon as she steps in the door. You couldn't possibly grow up around her and be anything but gracious.